Faults Follies and Identity

Have you ever really sat down for the purpose of thinking about identity and how you define it?

How do you define your own identity?
What components play a part in that definition?
Is there a difference between what you do and who you are?
How much do your looks or clothing play into it?
How much do other people's definitions of you play into your own?

Identity is tricky. Should we define our identities based on the things, or people, or ideologies that we identify with the most. That is to say, those that we find ourselves most pleased by, most comfortable with, those that we find to be most in line with the way we would make things were we in charge. Or perhaps we should define our own identity based on the things we one day aspire to be. Therein lies a dangerous risk of then never being able to attain the identity we aspire to and in the end giving ourselves the identity of failure because we couldn't "get there." But if we desire to improve ourselves is it better to define ourselves by the mistakes we are trying to fix, by the characteristics we aspire to, or should we perhaps define our identity as someone who is seeking to be better.

How defined does an identity need to be? Can I actually simply define myself as a man who is seeking to become a better man? That is a fairly undefined statement. That is to say that many of the details are not defined. What defines "better" for instance?

It's ever so slightly disturbing that this rambling about identity (composed over a period of months in fits and bursts) is mostly punctuated with question marks...

Wouldn't one assume that identity is something much more easy to comprehend? I think we often treat it as though it is, and thereby offend, discriminate against, and misrepresent many people. But who knows if that opinion can be true at all, because all I've established is that when it comes to identity I can't seem to establish anything with any real solidity.

I'm tempted to use some extremely meaningless and yet very palatable, politically correct, open-minded phrase like "Identity is what we make it." or "Your identity is your own." But those statements do not make any real statement.

So after contemplating this and giving myself nothing but more questions and no answers to any of them: What is my identity? (or at least what do I define it as?)

The only characteristic about me that seems permanent enough to define as an identity is that I am not the man I want to be, and I'm trying to get there. I also know that the standard I hold myself to is unattainable, and therefore I will never be the man I want to be. This however does not make me a failure. It simply means that there is always progress to be made, and there is always work to do. I will move both forward and backward in this pursuit, and that will at times depress me. But when it comes to my identity: I am a man who is seeking to become the man he knows he should be. I am always that, no matter what changes around me.